I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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