she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
