Got a toothbrush?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm like, not good at living.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.