he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
