I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
