Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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