Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
