Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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