chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I want to be your penis for a week.
3 2 1 whiskey
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
