i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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