is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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