normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
