OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
