So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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