Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
