I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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