found the other keg... it's in the tree
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
