Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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