I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
