so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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