is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
