I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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