Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
