So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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