i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
