so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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