Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize