my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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