dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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