When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
