pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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