Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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