Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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