Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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