dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
