I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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