8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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