Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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