we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He passed out mid-signature
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
