Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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