I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize