He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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