We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
