well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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