apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
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A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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