Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
