Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
