so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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