So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
