hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
