I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
