my sisters under your porch take her home
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the liver wants what the liver wants
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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