Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My liver just broke up with me...
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
