when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
