It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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