I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
