i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
