Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
