I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
