Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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