you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize