you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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