I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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