I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize