it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
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WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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