Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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