whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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