This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
