The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
